 Often I’m asked about how my husband and I met and about our story of coming together. Recently I’ve had a few clients that are single and have been asking for ‘advice’ on how to date and how to find that special person. It’s really not coaching, so I thought I’d put pen to paper (metaphorically speaking) and write about my personal experiences.
Sean and I met on www.rsvp.com.au I’d been dating (a lot) for about six months before Sean contacted me and initially I said: “I’m at a crazy point in my life and just don’t have time for dating right now.” Sean being really laid back and patient said “No worries, you don’t mind if we just email a bit then do you?” Fair call I thought.
So we emailed … every day for three weeks, till we finally decided to meet up. I think the time we spent emailing each other was great, we really got to understand each other and make sure the essentials were ticked off.
As soon as we met we just didn’t stop talking, he picked me up at 9am, and we talked all day, ended up having dinner together and then doing the same thing the next day. It just seemed easy and comfortable to be together and from that first day there was something special there. We spent every spare moment we had together from then on, and it wasn’t for another three weeks that we even kissed. I definitely think there’s something to be said for taking it slow!
The long and the short of it is that we’re now very happily married and I feel like I’m finally qualified to give a little dating advice. So here are my tips on how to approach dating:
 Make a conscious decision that you are going to begin dating and decide on the outcome you’re looking for. After 10 years of dating, when I signed up to RSVP I did so with the intention of finding Sean. Go in with a mission!
Be committed to your mission. Don’t expect to find the right person on the first or second date. I think I was up to my ………. Actually I’m not going to say, but it was a long way from one or two, trust me!
 Keep an open mind. If they are shorter, wider, have a shaved head or did a stint at Nimbin don’t exclude them straight away. Everyone deserves a chance. Then, if you need to move on, do! You’d be amazed how love and happiness can sometimes disguise itself! Love truly does come in all shapes and sizes!
Be safe. I want to be clear on this. I’ve never had any issues with any rsvp dates; I’ve met some great and some very interesting people and I’ve always made sure I met them in a crowded area. Ensure someone knows where you are. Unfortunately there are some ‘unsavoury’ people out there simply trying to take advantage, so ensure you pursue your new dating life with your own safety as paramount!
 Be honest right from the word go. It’s easy to build a wonderful and fancy profile on line; the trouble is, you need to keep the act up all the time. The more honest you are in your profile and with potential dates, the easier it will be to begin a relationship! Isn’t that the whole point?
Believe that you will find the right person! It’s sometimes difficult, date after date with the wrong person to keep the faith that the right one is out there looking for you. Just believe. I know a young man of only 18 that every night prays for his sole mate, that she’s well and that God will keep her safe while she’s on the journey to find him. What a beautiful prayer!
Be independent. I honestly believe that until you are happy on your own, you will not find happiness in a partner. It takes two whole independent people to come together and build a quality relationship that works. Once you find your partner, keep an element of your independence, there’s a good chance that’s part of what they fell in love with in the first place. The fact that you are true to yourself first is very attractive!
Have fun! Approach each date with the attitude of getting to know someone new and just having a good time! Don’t go in looking for a life long companion. I know that’s the big aim, but it has to start with a solid foundation, and the best foundation is friendship!
That’s about all I have for now on dating. The best advice I have is to be yourself.
“Never frown, for you just don’t know
who is falling in love with your smile.”
 Enjoy your dating journey and let me know how it goes. GOOD LUCK and may you all get your happily ever after!
If you’re really ready to step up and start living life and need a little assistance to get started, please give me a call on 0409 224 303 and we can work on it together.
If you like what I’m writing or would like to give me some feedback, I’d love to hear from you.
Shoot me an email at jodie@advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au | 
Ye RSVP great I met my wife of seven years there too. It is great place when you are both over fifty and do not like the club, pub singles scene. Be truthful about yourself upfront that is my advice. good luck
by Tom Hadley
14 Oct 08 23:05