 As much as we talk about positive emotions, what they are and how to get them, we also need to think about the negative emotions in our lives and how we can counter them, and keep our focus on the positives.
In life, up’s and down’s are inevitable, that’s simply the way life is. I’m not here to explain it all, just to help you manage with it as effectively as possible!
Here is a list of some negative emotions and next to each I’ve listed good ways/ ideas to flip them back into positive. Have a try next time you’re feeling a little negative and see how easy it is to change:
Uncomfortable: Begin to notice what’s around you that is familiar. What elements of the situation are safe and focus on all the things that you know about the situation. Being uncomfortable is generally a sign that you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. Notice if it’s a good (moving towards what you want) or a bad (feeling something isn’t right here and I could be in danger) emotion. Once you’ve noticed where it’s coming from you can easily figure out your best course of action.
Fear: I’ve heard a few motivational speakers use the acronym False Expectations Appearing Real. It really is a nice way to think of it isn’t it! Fear can paralyze us from action and needs to be managed at all costs. Fear is our body’s way of saying “Can’t stay here, something must change.” Again, assess where the fear is coming from, is it real, or is it imagined? If you keep this fear where will you be in 10 years’ time? Remember: Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to feel the fear and do it anyway!
Anger: Always keep in the back of your mind this gem: Nothing good can ever come from anger! That’s it! Simply put, anger is wasting your energy and also creating negativity on a larger scale. The best antidote to anger is gratitude.
Now, the caveat here is that any peak emotional state will release a small chemical in your brain and that chemical takes around 12-15 minutes to dissolve into the blood stream and disperse throughout your body. In that 12–15 minutes all the damage will be done, it’s where we can’t think rationally and our emotions simply seem to take control. We will say things that should never be said, and do things that in a rational state we would never ever do!
So when you feel anger brewing to the surface and getting ready to bubble over, I suggest a walk. Remove yourself from the situation, and take a 12-15 minute walk. While you’re walking try to focus on all the things about the person, or the situation that you can be grateful for. This is a real challenge, but you can feel the emotions of gratitude and anger at the same time. So gratitude will bring you gently back to rational thinking and give you the ability to handle the situation in order to give you the best possible outcome!
 Frustration: Frustration is definitely my favourite negative emotion. Frustration is an indicator to let you know that you’re right on the verge of a break through. Frustration is the dark before the dawn, it’s the struggle of change being implemented, and frustration should lead us to work harder, to push more and to try to find whatever answers you’re looking for. Frustration indicates a change is about to happen, and it’s up to you to make the most of any change in life.
Guilt: When people tell me ‘I feel guilty’ I always reply “Well, guilt is a good thing; its sole purpose is to let us know when we’ve violated our own values”. If you feel guilty about working late and not seeing enough of your family then brilliant! That’s your body’s automatic system for correcting what’s out of whack in your life. Listen to it, don’t try to shut it up, think about what needs to change and how you can make that happen. I’m not saying it’s easy, but I am saying that guilt has a definite purpose.
 Inadequacy: Who or what has the right to make you feel inadequate? Whose responsibility is it for you to feel adequate (as a minimum) at all times? Right, it’s yours! So why would you give your power over to someone else and allow them to dictate how you feel? A feeling of inadequacy is really an issue of focus. You’re focusing on what you’re not good at instead of what you’re brilliant at! We’re all great at different things. If you’re feeling inadequate notice who you’re comparing yourself to. If I spent all day comparing myself to Richard Branson or Anthony Robbins, boy would I create a complex for myself. Instead I focus on my strengths, on building those and on what I’m working towards. That’s the easiest way to build your self esteem back up.
 Overwhelmed: In today’s society it’s so easy to constantly take on more than you can physically handle and manage effectively, yet we still try to do too much. Being overwhelmed can mean one of two things; either you don’t have the skills or resources to handle what’s in front of you, or the challenge is simply too big. So there are two options; increase your resources and skill level to enable you to cope with the challenge more effectively or, reduce the challenge - perhaps you simply have too much on. Many mums fall into this category of trying to do everything and wanting to be constantly on top of it all. If you are going to take on numerous tasks, then you can’t afford to be a perfectionist!
 Lonely: In this day and age I don’t think anyone has a need to feel lonely. I accept that many people do, but think of it this way. If they truly decided to make a friend today, could they? The answer is yes every time! If loneliness does creep into your emotional palette, try volunteering and really helping others through their challenges. It’s a sure fire way to not only cure loneliness but also to create a real feeling of contribution and that sense of connection with another human being.
I’m hoping today you’ve got some new methods to move forwards out of negative emotional states and to really focus on creating and working towards the life you want! Anything is possible, but if it’s going to be it’s up to me (that’s you of course!)
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined”.
- Thoreau
This audio CD is available on ‘Discovering Happiness’ and is for sale for $22.
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- What is Happiness?
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If you’re really ready to step up and start living life and need a little assistance to get started, please give me a call on 4296 9331 or email me and we can work on it together. If you like what I’m writing or would like to give me some feedback, I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me an email at jodie@advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au | 
