The interesting thing about it is that both books were written by prominent psychologists in the field of happiness and there are some fundamental contradictions in them that I found really interesting. The best part about it is that they are both very well researched and, read independently, their arguments would be taken as fact.
The first book I read was ‘Authentic Happiness’ by Martin Seligman, the man who founded the field of positive psychology. So much of the field of positive psychology comes from a founding belief that our natural state of being is happiness, or various ranges of other positive emotions.
Seligman spends much of the book talking about research that indicates focusing on positive emotions not only leads to a positive and fulfilling life, it also enhances both personal and community growth. Those who are in a positive emotional state are more willing to try new things and therefore experience greater success in their lives.
Alternatively, the next book I read was ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Dr Russ Harris, MD. The introduction to his book uncovers his founding beliefs, which I found almost entirely contradictory to popular positive psychology teachings. Harris determines that man has evolved from staying alive, and the survival of the fittest has always relied upon the man that is more aware, stressed, fearful, worried and anxious. He believes that those who are in negative emotional states have been more ready to fight, hunt or run, and those who were more ‘happy-go-lucky’ were the ones left behind or eaten by lions.
His belief is that humans have not ever been conditioned psychologically to be happy, but have been conditioned to stress and negative situations as a survival instinct, hence the evolution of our negative emotional states and the current staggering rates of depression and suicide.
Harris goes on to argue that to expect happiness to be a natural part of our lives is to look for disappointment. Seligman agrees to an extent, and I also validate that to expect happiness 24/7 is simply unrealistic and we need to accept and also appreciate that we will experience a full range of emotions. For us women, that’s often before lunch!
Both books go on to discuss strategies to bring more happiness into our daily lives, and both writers acknowledge that happiness is something to be worked on; it’s a skill that must be acquired.
Personally, being the eternal optimist, I believe we are meant to be happy. We are born perfect, into a perfect environment for us to grow, then things change, people come onto the scene and our mind and thoughts get in our way. If we could strip our thoughts down and simply notice a beautiful little bird sitting in a tree nearby I believe everyone would find pure happiness in that moment. Life is so full of these amazing moments, from animals to flowers to children, we are constantly surrounded by moments. We simply need to get out of our thinking mind and relearn to notice and appreciate them.
At the end of the day there will always be contradictions in our lives, from people to places to experiences. Sometimes things just don’t add up and it seems that the more we look for a definitive answer the more that answer eludes us.
From these two outstanding books on happiness I’ve made one sound conclusion; you must read and learn as much as you possibly can about any given topic.
However, in doing so you must be open to all options and at the end of the day accept that there may not be a right or wrong answer.
Life is not black or white, it’s made up of thousands of beautiful colours and perhaps we aren’t meant to make sense of it. Perhaps we are simply meant to learn what we can and do the best we can with that knowledge.
May you always be learning, unlearning and relearning!
NOTICES:
The Happiness Club is now in full swing! The group is filled with wonderful people ready to have fun. The venue has been changed to Warilla Senior Citizens Hall to accommodate more people and allow for some of our more adventurous activities. We meet the first and third Monday of each month at 5pm. Please phone 0409 224 303 to book.
The second Public Speaking Course will be held on 8 and 12 March from 8.30am – 12.30pm both days. This is a two-part workshop and costs $197. Spaces are limited so book ASAP to avoid disappointment.
A free information seminar will be held on Monday 8 March at Shellharbour Links Golf Course at 6pm. Increase your confidence: Tips from five experts including a Beautician, Massage Therapist, Pilates Instructor, Nutritionist & Life Coach. Bookings essential as seating will be limited.
This column was written by Jodie Cooper of Advanced Coaching Solutions. Jodie specialises in assisting people to find their own brilliance, tap into it and live their lives to their full potential. Her passion and enthusiasm for helping people show in everything she does, from helping teens understand their thought processes to assisting executives to make drastic changes.
Check out Jodie’s NEW website at: www.advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au
Buy the book at: www.bringinghappinesshome.com.au | 
Hi Jodie, I'm glad you liked my book 'The Happiness Trap'. What you didn't mention is that it is based on ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which has the aim of helping people to live rich, full and meaningful lives, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with them. ACT predates the positive psychology movement by ten years, although it is now increasingly seen as a part of that movement. Positive psychology is a term that covers many many different models of the human condition, but one thing is for sure: most of the models within positive psychology place a major focus on feeling good. Indeed, many people seem to think that 'feeling good' and 'happiness' are the same thing. However, if happiness was simply a matter of having good feelings, then drug addicsts shoudl be the happiest folks on the planet, because they have lots of very pleasurable feelings. The fact is, if we are to live a full human life, we will feel the full range of human emotions. If you choose to have loving, initmate relationships, then guess what? No matter how good those relationships are they will not be all happiness and joy and love; you can guarantee that vulnerbaility and sadness and fear and anger and guilt will come along for the ride. ACT shows us how to drop the struggle with these normal but painful emotions, and ho we can engage fully in our lives even when we are not feeling happy. The aim of ACT and the aim of most reserchers, coaches and authors within the positive psychology movement is the same: to maximise human potential for living a rich full and meaningful life. My concern is that many people fail to realise that sadness and fear and guilt are important life-enhancing emotions that play a major role in living a rich and full life. A lot of writings on positive psychology seem to forget this; they have become almost obsessed about focusing on pleasant feelings and ignoring the fact that painful feelings can add to our lives. For example, imagine if your loved one died -- would you expect to feel happy? Your sadness tells you something very important in these circumstances. So I would very much like to see more practitioners and researchers within the positive psychology movement broadening their focus, to embrace the full range of human emotions, rather than focusing solely on the ones that feel good. I also wanted to clarify that in ACT we see the 'natural state' of human beings as an everchanging flow of emotions -- continually changing like the weather; there is no one emotional state that is 'natural'. ACT starts from the assumption that the human mind is a double-edged sword; it odes some things wonderfully, other things not so good. You can't just strip away all those negative thoughts -- not even Zen masters can do that. Martin Seligman, the father of the positive psychology movement, freely admits that depsite thirty years of teaching optimistic thinking all over the world, the very first thought that pops into his head in a challenging situation is a pessimistic one. So yes, we can learn to think more positively, but that won't stop our minds from generating negative thoughts. ACT teaches us how to have those negative thoughts without a fight; how to let them come and go without getting caught up in them; how to stop treating them as the enemy; how to make peace with them, and recoginse they are not abnormal or unnatural, but a normal aspect of a normal human mind; and how we don't need to get rid of them (as if we could) in order to live a rich and full life. I hope this comment is of some use All the best,
by Russ Harris
17 Mar 10 01:04