Those people who just seem to be so engaging without even trying. Those people who it would not matter what they were talking about, you would just want to listen. They have a certain something about them that has you feeling you want to know more about who they are and what they do.
In “old” sales terminology, these are the people that could “sell ice to Eskimos”. I have had the opportunity to meet and share with many such people and have even been described in this way myself a few times. In well over 90 per cent of the cases of people who I have spoken to, the common factor is that they do not think of themselves as selling at all. They are having appealing discussions, they are interested in the people they are speaking to and they are having fun – and it is that combination that engages people and leads to success in business and sales. And the most exciting thing about this is that the skills can be learned – and quite easily.
One of the first things that we can learn, practise and apply, is building rapport. Rapport is described as “a feeling of comfort and connectedness between people”. Being in rapport is a natural thing that most of us do without even thinking about it. Being consciously aware of building rapport makes it quicker, easier and more effective. We build rapport by matching and mirroring the person or people we are talking with – and there are so many ways to do it. I will break our communication into the three Vs and give a few examples of how you can match and mirror someone to build rapport.
Verbal (Words) – Do they use certain phrases or key words? Do they talk about “seeing what you mean”, ”hearing what you are saying” or “getting it”? By matching these things you will really be talking in their language.
Vocal (tone) – How quickly do they speak? Do they have a high- or low-pitched voice? How loud or soft do they speak? Do they speak clearly or have a raspiness to their voice a bit like Sean Connery?
Visual (body language) – Do they express themselves with their hands? How is their posture? Do they stand very close to people or leave some space for themselves? Even the rate and location of their breathing can be noticed and matched.
By matching and mirroring a few of these elements that “feeling of comfort and connectedness” happens quicker and more consciously than can be the case otherwise. I am going to cover an issue now as I am sure that the words “manipulation” and “unethical” are going through the minds of some of you.
As I mentioned earlier, being in rapport is very natural. Many of us have breathed in time with a baby or an animal and know how comfortable that feels. Think of a time when you were talking with your best friend – if you were outside looking in at that conversation you would have noticed you were naturally doing many of these things anyway. A friend of mine talks very expressively with her hands and when I talk to her I find myself doing the same thing, even though I do not do this all of the time. It just feels “right”.
At first it will seem a little strange to start to become aware of this and act a little differently when meeting people for the first time. Practise with friends first as the idea is to be as subtle and unnoticeable as possible with this. Once you feel a bit more comfortable, get brave and push yourself and you will be amazed by the results.
This is just one of the skills and tools that you can learn and develop to make you and therefore your product or service more engaging and appealing. There are many simple (and not so simple) things that you can learn and apply and make a vast difference. Just think, if you were able to be more engaging and effective when networking, what effect would that have on your sales and/or profit?
This is one of the reasons that I am excited to introduce “Business Rules of Engagement” www.businessrulesofengagement.com.
This week I am excited to be interviewing a number of experts in networking, marketing and promotion. If you would like a recording of any of the interviews you may have missed please send us an email to info@abundantyou.com
Starting on July 21 there is a 10-week webinar series starting “Business Rules of Engagement Intensive” in which we will be dispelling myths, replacing them with truths and advice and offering practical tips and tools to make you even more of an effective networker than you already are.
For more details, and to register, go to www.businessrulesofengagement.com/intensive.html .
Until June 30, there is a great early bird offer giving you over 10 hours of training and coaching plus email support and bonuses for only $297. For most people one additional customer gained through a referral would cover the cost of the course and much, much more. If you have any questions please contact me on info@abundantyou.com
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