Trust your intuition

I talk to a lot of clients about their dating experiences and so many tell me that if they’d just listened to their instincts they would have saved themselves a lot of heartache and time.
 
Instincts are fabulous. They tell us when to stick around and when to run for the hills.
 
If you’re in the dating game, tune in … because if you go with your gut-feel, you’ll find it will steer you in the right direction.
 
As much as anything else, following your instincts is about trusting yourself.
 
If you get the feeling something isn't quite right and then brush it off, you’ll no doubt find that two weeks, two months or two years later something wasn't right after all.
 
Ignoring our instincts when it comes to dating is so common, but not so smart.
 
The hardest part is, if we’ve only just started seeing someone and we’re really into them, we don't want to admit that something could be wrong or they’re not the ideal partner we’ve been looking for.

We can also get carried away with the excitement that a new relationship brings. We sometimes even convince ourselves we like the person we’re dating more than we actually do. We get so hooked on the fairytale that it can cloud our instincts to the point where we fail to see their shortcomings.
 
When it comes to instincts, it can be easy to convince ourselves we're being paranoid or worrying about nothing. But if those niggling feelings hang about, we need to address them.
 
If, for example, having a partner who’s emotionally independent is important to you and early on, you’re finding your new partner’s circle of friends is non-existent, that you’ve become their entire world and they want to see you each and every night, tune in to how you’re feeling about that. If it’s not sitting well with you, talk about it. And bale out if that behaviour continues.
 
One of my speed dating clients was telling me the other day that she’d recently called a guy she was seeing to confront him based on an instinct she had, and it turns out her suspicions were spot-on. In one phone call it was over because he’d failed to inform her of something that was imperative to her when it came to being in a relationship.
 
If she’d cottoned on earlier she would have seen that the writing was in fact on the wall. She was just choosing not to see it.
 
When it ended she started questioning herself over whether she’d given the relationship enough time. But deep down, she knew the signs were there from the start that he hadn't been right for her. Yes, she was single again, but she wasn't wasting her time on a dead-end relationship that wasn't giving her what she knew she fundamentally wanted.
 
It's disheartening to think it could all be over before it’s begun. It’s also a bummer knowing your instincts are right when you want a different outcome. But it’s good to remember as much as anything else that the dating game is an excellent exercise in personal growth. You have a regular opportunity to learn about yourself, trust your inner voice and become a more perceptive person.