In the corporate world our managers will review our performance every 6 months or so and determine what challenges we need to grow and to improve our performance. What skills do we need to work on and how can we do that in the environment we are in.

Some large organisations are going so far as taking all their executives off site and doing group challenges such as abseiling, climbing and obstacle courses. So what are we doing for ourselves in our personal lives?

Each of us are faced with challenges, it’s an unavoidable part of the natural tapestry of life. The only thing that differentiates us is the way we approach them. Bethany Hamilton had her arm torn off by a Shark while out surfing; she has risen back to the surfing world and is now, again competing professionally. Not only has she faced her challenges, but she has also inspired millions of people to overcome their personal obstacles!

Personally, I like to think that my challenges are all hand picked especially for me! Whether they are or not is completely irrelevant, but it sure makes me feel better when I can believe that there is a specific purpose behind my problems.

So imagine if you were able to see your challenges in this new way, how would or could you approach them differently, what would change? Let’s talk about some specific examples.

Some of the bigger challenges in our life might include:

  The death of a loved one - As much as this is a time of hurt, frustration and sadness, you will learn how to deal with these emotions as best you can. In the future there is a good chance that you will be called upon to support someone else you love going through the same challenge. Without your experience you couldn’t help or support them nearly as well. With your learning’s from this challenge you can truly help someone else to cope, and they in turn will help others.

  Being diagnosed with a serious disease/illness - Of all the people I’ve know that have been diagnosed with a serious disease, none of them have said “I wish I never had this.” Each person has been able to find something within the experience to focus on and move forward to.

Five years ago my husband’s lung collapsed, he was in hospital for over 6 months and knocked on deaths door more than once. He looks back on the whole experience as the best thing that could have happened. At the time he was living a fast paced, stressful life and completely disregarding the needs of his body. As he began to recover he realised he could never go back to that lifestyle and has completely reshaped his life. It was the perfect wake up call for him. Definitely a challenge hand picked!

  Financial disaster - The vast majority of us have faced financial challenges, if not complete disaster. The best reframe for this is that you have learned one more way that won’t work, so are one step closer to your financial goals. The people you meet and the opportunities that come from financial challenges are amazing; the point is you need to stay alert to the opportunities. When you get engrossed in the sadness and loss, you miss any positives that can come from this challenge.

  End of a relationship - The end of a relationship I think is the most painful and can be the most confronting of challenges, you often second guess yourself and ask negative questions like “what did I do wrong?” or “why didn’t they love me?” These questions get you nowhere and will only leave you sad and alone. Focus instead on the future, on being free to find someone that shares the same values and passions as you do. To find someone that you can call your equal and have a truly genuine relationship with. I know at the time it seems like the end of the world, but while you can’t see out of your pain the world keeps turning.

Never ever frown, for you don’t know who is falling in love with your smile!

Each of these challenges are massive, and I don’t intended for one moment to lessen the intensity of any of these events, what I do hope to explain today is that by taking another perspective, perhaps we can shift our view of what the future holds for us.

In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) the process I’ve been talking about is reframing. We take an event, and simply put it in another frame to make it more approachable and less threatening. Try to use this process with your day to day challenges and see how it can make a massive difference in your life!

Never wish that life were easier - wish that you were better!

If you’re really ready to start living your life to the fullest and need some support in stepping up and facing your challenges, please email me at Jodie@advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au for a 1 hour free introductory life coaching session and we can work on it together.