 A few weeks ago we had a great workshop on Building Outstanding Relationships. There were lots of people there and the one part of the workshop that seemed a little challenging for the majority was an NLP concept we introduced. This part of the workshop was around concepts of communication based on NLP philosophies.
Essentially I spoke about four different NLP concepts:
1. The meaning of communication is the response it gets – This means that the only meaning we can ever give our communication is the response we get as a direct result of it. If we don’t get the response we want, then we need to take that as feedback that our communication needs to change. Essentially, our communication is the key to improving our lives.
2. There is always a positive intention behind every behaviour – Even if the behaviour is the most horrible thing imaginable, the perpetrator came from a positive place. Often they are only focusing on how they can either satisfy their immediate need or how they can improve their world and their own life.
3. You cannot fail to communicate – even by avoiding people, not returning phone calls or completely ignoring people, communication is still taking place. Essentially the other person takes your lack of communication to mean that you aren’t interested in pursuing a relationship or that you are angry/ disappointed/ frustrated/ upset for some reason.
4. The map is not the territory – As challenging as the above concepts are, this is where the audience really challenged the NLP theory. The idea of the map not being the territory means that the way we see the world can only ever be our map of how the world is, and not actually the territory, or the world itself.
 Every time an event happens in our life, we give it meaning. The meaning we ascribe to any event comes from a culmination of our past experiences, our beliefs, values, and unique knowledge. For example, a boy throws a rock at a passing car. Many of us would immediately jump to the conclusion that the boy is causing trouble. What if someone’s own son was just put into a juvenile detention centre for exactly that crime and was then led into a life of drugs and poor choices as a result. How would that father view this other boy’s action differently?
The point is, the action is the same. The fact that the boy threw the rock doesn’t change, it is simply an event. We, as individuals give everything in our lives meaning and depending on our beliefs, experiences and values will depend on the meaning we give it.
This theory bugged Einstein to the point where he said “Does that mean that the whole world changes when viewed through the eyes of a mouse?” What a wonderful example! The world is absolutely and completely a very different place for a mouse. It has to be. Things are all in different proportions and have very different meaning.
What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch. ~ Jane Wagner
So, the next time you start to get wrapped up in something that did, or perhaps didn’t happen, remember that your perception of reality is only your perception. It can’t be reality! Everything that you experience as reality must be filtered through your own personal set of experiences, beliefs and values. Try thinking of how a mouse would view the same situation and that should help you shift your thinking from that of a fixed and inflexible approach to a more appreciating take of how else reality could look.
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” ~ Albert Einstein
Nothing in life is more certain than the fact that our own reality will always be as unique as our thumb print!
How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind?
This week, focus on the way you perceive reality. Begin to appreciate that your thoughts about reality must be different from others and how that affects the decision you make and actions you take! I hope we stimulated some new thought patterns today. Enjoy.
If you’re really ready to step up and start living life and need a little assistance to get started, please give me a call on 0409 224 303 for a complimentary coaching session and we can work on it together.
The next workshop available is ‘Public Speaking’ and will run on July 27th and August 3rd.
Public Speaking
In this 2-part workshop you will:
 Learn the importance of body language
Uncover your potential and style as a speaker
Write and deliver an amazing and dynamic presentation
Learn numerous speaking and communication skills
Face your fears and gain confidence as a speaker
Have plenty of practice to cement in your new skills
Develop the power to influence through presentations
Workshop Details
Location: Wollongong Golf Club
Date: Monday 27th July & 3rd August, 2009
Time: 2pm – 6pm
Cost: $180
Bookings: Email Jodie@advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au to reserve your place.
To check out workshops available and what’s scheduled for the rest of the year, go to www.advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au/Workshops.html | 
