Death, then what?

In the last week I’ve been to two funerals and I feel I’ve somewhat had death shoved in my face after a blissful period of ignorance. It’s been literally years since I’ve been to a funeral, and it was interesting how I responded.

The first funeral was a great aunt of mine. At 94 she passed away in her sleep after watching the cricket in the afternoon. Not a bad way to go, and not a bad innings at all. Needless to say her funeral was a celebration of her life. People were expecting it and everyone was happy that her passing was as good as could be. She was a devout Christian and had a firm belief that she would be greeted in heaven by not only her maker but also her husband and others she had known that had already passed on. Regardless of my belief, it was comforting to know that she was looking forward to her death and the beyond.

The second funeral I attended was completely different. It was a woman in her 50s with a healthy, loving husband, and two wonderful boys in their 20s. Clearly it was very different circumstances. She was diagnosed with cancer over 8 months ago and lost her fight last week after numerous treatments were ineffective. There was no religion mentioned in the ceremony.

I have been bought up a Christian; I was taken along to church as a child and honestly enjoyed the process. In truth it wasn’t until I had my heart broken at the tender age of 20 that I lost my faith. I can’t even say I completely lost the faith, I did however certainly go through a process of asking questions. When the Christian faith came up with what I considered ‘inappropriate’ answers I started looking for what else is out there.

Christianity preaches about Heaven and Hell and the ultimate judgement being left in God’s hands. When you talk to individual Christians however, many will actually say they don’t believe in Hell. The thought of living this life as a test, just to see if we can get into ‘Heaven’ concerns me. Who’s been there? How do we know all this is true? Really, isn’t it just the same as going to a casino and putting all your money on one number on a roulette table and hoping for the best? Millions of people believe in Allah, millions believe in Buddha, millions believe in thousands of Hindu Gods. Who is right?

At the end of the day each of us has a choice to make. Or do we? Is it simply enough to be a good person and live your life as well as you possibly can? What I’ve never understood about religion is that they have an intolerance for their fellow religions, yet they all preach the same values. The Koran and the Bible could have been written by the same man (or woman) as they share so many beliefs. The only religion I’ve found that tolerates all religions and preaches about being a good person is Buddhism.

I’m not a practising Buddhist, however if I had to choose I’d certainly be heading in that direction. The loveliest thing about the Buddhist religion is their belief in reincarnation after death. What a beautiful philosophy; we live multiple lives and in each life we are able to accumulate Karma to improve our circumstances. Effectively, the more good we do, the more good comes back to us. It really is very simple, and in my mind makes good sense.

Death is certainly an unavoidable part of life. I’ve got a long way to go to understanding both life and death and also in coming to terms with it. Just contemplating that one day I will lose my parents, friends and loved ones to this disease we call death makes me determined to live each day and each moment to the fullest. All those emails that say we must live, and treat each day as potentially our last, are right.

I once had a wonderful friend explain death to me in a new way. He said, “Jodie, death is always with you. Imagine he is a beautiful little angel sitting on your shoulder ready to take you at any moment of any day. Don’t be afraid, he is already with you, simply make the most of your time here on earth.” Wise words.

How often do you take things for granted or put things off for another day. If death truly was an angel sitting on your shoulder would you live your life differently?

The next workshop is on Thursday 27 August on ‘The Balancing Act’.

In just two hours you will: 

  Create your own definition of work/ life balance
  Discover areas of your life that are out of balance
  Understand how values drive your choices
  Learn how to maintain a calm state of mind
  Find practical solutions to create work/ life balance
  Create a sustainable plan to retain balance in your life

Workshop Details

Location: Wollongong Golf Club
Date: Thursday 27 August, 2009
Time: 5.45pm – 8pm
Cost: $55 (Includes audio CD)
Bookings: Phone 0409 224 303
Email: Jodie@advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au to reserve your place.

To check out workshops available and what’s scheduled for the rest of the year, go to www.advancedcoachingsolutions.com.au/Workshops.html