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by The Goose

One-Up

Irreverent, sexist and definitely not politically correct

A man and his wife are dining at a restaurant when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband an open-mouthed kiss and says she'll see him later.
The wife glares at the husband and says: "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," he replies, "She's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw!" says the wife, "I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but if we get divorced it'll mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no winters in Barbados or Summers in Tuscany, no more Rolls Royce in the garage and no more yacht club. But it's up to you of course."
Just then a mutual friend walks in with a gorgeous female on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.

It's a Fact

In ancient times, parsley wreaths were used to ward off drunkenness.

Someone who has an irrational fear of meat is carnophobic.

The valves of the human heart are as thick as a single piece of tissue paper.

 

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Updated 01-06-2011

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